Today is the first day of a new year. Hello 2013!

I rang the new year in by knitting a baby sweater for a friend, sitting in my living room next to Kate- Austin and Alissa nearby. Kate and Alissa chose random episodes of Legend of the Seeker and Lost Girl for all of us to watch.

As I scroll through Facebook and the news, I see pictures of champaign glasses, black-eyed peas, and lists of resolutions. Last night when I finally went to bed, I couldn’t help reflecting on the purpose of this tradition of resolutions. I find the start of a new year incredibly comforting this year. I have some baggage to leave behind me.

2012 was a full year. It was filled with a lot of love and laughter. Austin and I met a lot of life goals in 2012- he finished his Ph. D- a monumental task that has taken almost a decade. We both joined the faculty at UA, landing solid, challenging and rewarding jobs in our respective fields, which marked the first time in our marriage that we both held jobs in our fields. The significance of this is great, and it should have made 2012 our landmark year if it weren’t for the miscarriage that we suffered in April. Somehow for me, all the good in the world was overshadowed by this one hurt. And it caused a lot of introversion and selfishness with in me. I am not sure whether I should have or could have responded in any other way. Sometimes I think I responded with weak moral fiber. That I should have risen above the pain and rejoiced in the triumphs, but I didn’t. And my past cannot be changed.

So in 2013, I am resolved to look outside of myself. To do more for others. To be more empathetic. To be more motivate towards the welfare of others, and not so focused on myself. I resolve to watch less tv and to spend more time interacting with people.

I am not going to try to resolve to become pregnant again- that way lies madness. If it happens, so be it, and we are hoping that it does. One day, I will be a mother. And I need to find contentment life is too short.

In 2013, I look forward to watching my sister marry her beloved. I look forward to seeing dear friends give birth to sweet babies. I hope to have fantastic roses in my garden.

It’s gonna be a good year! And it will be good because I have good life. I have love and friendship and passion. And I have a lot to share.

Happy New Year!

Advertisements